December 2010
16 posts
The worst part about my life right now is that even if I wanted to run away (which I do) I couldn’t (because I can’t). This makes me want to stop eating and hibernate for 6 months. Wake me up when I can leave.
Sometimes I think the only way to save him is to save myself. But how?
More than anything, I wish I could protect him from this family and this world. I hate more than anything that I can’t. She’s insane and he’s not much better. I wish I could save him.
.
Show me the cracks beneath the surface. Let me heal you. Let me love you. Thank you.
Consider the Sabbath, I tell myself. What of prayer and fasting? God and His righteousness will be my cross. He is the bread and the life. “Man does not live on bread alone.”
Thought:
And this is why I run away! Ahah. This is why people blame their mothers for all their problems. I’ve a depressed mother, a mad Greek man for a father, and it all falls a part from there. God save us all.
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I’m writing a book called: I Am Not My Mother (And other lies I tell myself)
Rocking
I failed you. I knew I would. It was bound to happen. People, well, people they are failures. Humans are losers. Alone they stand on nothing. It’s a pathetic story. Birth, failure, death. There is little poetry around it. It isn’t a great love story. Unless, of course, it is.
Gruss Gott!
Gruss Gott this is nice. My tongue is speaking German right now…flows so well. I think I thought that somehow I had forgotten all my German. I haven’t really spoken it in over a year. I’m not confident at all in my ability to converse…and yet, it just comes. Like something learned as a small child, a habit, a sound familiar from the womb…my fascination with German...
Craving some Spanish sunshine. As in, Ibiza is calling. La Isle Bonita!!!!
Multimedia Message “The trick to dining alone is to look mysterious… And order dessert just to spite everyone.”
Multimedia Message I couldn’t think of anything witty to say. So I said silence. Motif of my life: speech and lack thereof. Meow.